Clearing the Cluttered Life

Men See You As Playful

Men want a challenge and you are the perfect playmate You know how to push men's buttons and attract a wide range of guys You enjoy living and loving - it's one of your most attractive qualities Men are often consumed with desire for you, and you love that!

True? Maybe... Hihihi!

Bored and still ignoring my room... Hay...

I have been ignoring my room lately. It's even worse than the last time I tried to clear it out. I'm beginning to think I'm hopeless.

As a pathetic excuse not to clean my room I have been looking for a job, filling up my weekends to study SPED, and trying to look for other sidelines that I could do to make myself productive. And... I got a job offer. Ain't bad. Ain't bad at all. Not necessarily the same position I had but they still gave me pretty much the same salary that I was getting from my previous company.

Oh yeah, I'm thinking of reviving The Workaholic Bum (which I still am by the way... just felt that I should focus on this) since this is really just supposed to be a life project that I'm working on. The purpose of this blog basically is to fix the mere distractions that may cause delay in basically everything that I do. And damn, I can't even fix my room.

ARGH! Carry on...

Going through my old stuff gave me another reason to keep all these things other people call junk. All of them are part of my history. They are what made me the person I am today. Each item symbolizes a lesson that I have picked up over the years, whether it is academic or not.

I found a Christmas card someone gave me. I've censored the names with asterisks (*) for, well, privacy reasons. Hehe...

WARNING: CAN BE TOO SENTIMENTAL FOR YOUR TASTE.

December 16, 2000

Dearest Lj,

Hey you! It's Christmas na naman. Actually, I don't feel that Christmassy this year... probably because of all the things that are happening to me that I can't quite cope (even though I've tried my best). I'll shut up na about that.

We've gotten close over the summer and having you as my friend is certainly one of the best things that has happened to me. I am so lucky to have you as my friend even though in the previous months I took you for granted. Four people have advised you to dump me and I would have understood if you followed their advice. However, you didn't and I am forever thankful to God for giving you such a forgiving heart. Lj? Maraming salamat sa lahat na ginawa mo para sa akin especially during the times when I needed someone to talk to the most. Pasensya ka na kung nagkamali ako, asahan mo na lang na ginagawa ko ang lahat para magbago ako. I don't want to hurt you like that again. Thanks for sticking by me throughout our friendship. Thanks for taking me as your friend one more time... for letting me have another chance to show you how sorry I am for what I've done and to make myself be worthy of your friendship. I owe you a lot and I hope someday I can repay you. Oh yeah, thanks for introducing me to *****. Without you, we would never have met and enjoy each others' company.

I still want to say some more (things that you've made a difference in me). But I don't want to take up another card space. Anyway, this is what I can tell you: you inspire me to become a better friend.

Merry Christmas JJ! I hope you and your family will have a marvelous Christmas together. I love you, my friend. Happy New Year na rin.

Love,
**** *.

PS Among other things I want to thank you for; thanks for the quesadillas when I was sick with the flu.

She was the only person who ever called me JJ. Ever.

I'm sure you're happy and even if we drifted apart, I'm still thankful for all the happy memories. I told you this before, and I'll say it again: All those times, when things were getting complicated, I was always thinking about you and how you could get hurt. I'm sorry... again... and whether or not we can still bring back the past, just remember that I'm just here, the same way you were for me that fateful night when I learned the truth and called you.

Hope you had a great holiday. And, funny as this may sound, I guess we can call it quits.

These dead flowers are maybe keeps. I know. It's gross. And I'm actually thinking of keeping them. These are old flowers that were given to me by my former boyfriend. No matter how useless they are these are still 4 years worth of anniversaries, birthdays, valentines and sorry's. I'm very sentimental, so sue me. Even if we broke up. But I'm leaning towards ditching them and probably just keeping the cards. Or maybe even the wrappers... Don't know yet. I'm stalling on this one.

These are definitely keeps...

A painting that my sister, Joan, gave me when she was 9 or 10. I told her then she made me look fat. She agrees with me now.

A flyer for Viare's Acting Workshop II. *sigh* I miss the stage. Left to right: Don't know you coz I can't see your face, Krissy, Mae, me, Kendrick and Neil.

A birthday gift that came with red wine not more than 3 years back. Thanks Acid Slammer! Miss you Sis!

I'm sleeping in my sister's room tonight because my room's still a mess. More stuff tomorrow.

Welcome to Clearing the Cluttered Life! I would like to thank the wonderful people at ETC for airing Starting Over. Without them I would not have known that there is such a thing as a clutter problem and its consequences; and would not have realized that I actually had one. I have accepted this fact and have decided that I want change.

I cannot help... I repeat... I CANNOT HELP but mess up my room, my sister's room, my parent's room, my car, my desk, other people's desks, and other types of rooms -- hotel room, living room, bathroom, anteroom, mushroom, etcetera. I honestly don't realize that I'm doing it already. My parents have to tell me that my room's a mess, my former supervisor had to scold me once for not putting her things back where I found them, and my friends have found interesting things in the backseat of my car that I have forgotten about.

As part of my New Year's Resolution, I solemnly swear that I will dedicate myself to keeping my room clean. My room is my sanctuary. When I get married, I will be sharing that sanctuary with the love of my life. Baka iwanan niya ko pag laging magulo. Hihihi! It happened to some couples na ha. Watch Starting Over.

The first part of my project will be organizing my cabinet (see Exhibit A). Most of these are small things as little post-its or stationery with small notes given to me through the years. Test papers, recollection letters, receipts, school stuff and other sentimental ek-ek are all here.

This blog's goal is to track my improvement and update its readers to how I'm doing. Cheer me on guys, I need it. Furthermore, my sentimental ek-eks may be other people's sentimental ek-eks so part of my blog's purpose is to induce a little bit of nostalgia not only for myself but for other people as well.

This is not just about cleaning. I'm clearing my life's clutter to be more efficient by reducing any type of interference both physical and mental. Clutter is basically anything that is messed up. Messed up room, messed up car, messed up mind, messed up person... It all follows. This time I want to be in control.

Having said that... Fight!