Sunday, March 05, 2006
The Parking Lot
As I ponder on my life's clutter, I feel that I should get rid of the things that I have placed on what I call THE PARKING LOT. Literally speaking, a parking lot is where you park (OMG, how profound... I wanted to rephrase that but I just felt like showing my readers how elementary my thoughts are). But in my previous company, the parking lot is basically a board wherein unresolved issues are posted and later on taken out once a resolution is made.
As far as I remember, up until April 2005, I only have one unresolved issue in my life. The moment that I was able to do what I had to do, other issues came rushing in like a swarm of bees.
Confrontaion was something I never had a problem with. But life was simpler then. My life is more complicated now. I thought I knew all the answers. I think I still do. But its execution doesn't seem to be as easy as 1 + 1 = 2 anymore. I found myself reading the first few lines of the Iliad yesterday. Anger be now your song, immortal one. Then I realized, that even if I still find myself being incredibly resilient despite everything, sometimes I feel that I have so much anger contained in me that has been screaming to get out.
I'm strong, but I'm tired.
I'm patient, but I have my limits.
I'm intelligent, but I'm dumb when emotions provoke my actions.
I love myself, but I'm not selfish.
Truly, no man is an island. Five people kept me sane: an old friend, a new acquaintance, a former colleague, an online buddy, and an emotional pillow. They give me a reason to smile.
And just like that, everything seems ok.
As far as I remember, up until April 2005, I only have one unresolved issue in my life. The moment that I was able to do what I had to do, other issues came rushing in like a swarm of bees.
Confrontaion was something I never had a problem with. But life was simpler then. My life is more complicated now. I thought I knew all the answers. I think I still do. But its execution doesn't seem to be as easy as 1 + 1 = 2 anymore. I found myself reading the first few lines of the Iliad yesterday. Anger be now your song, immortal one. Then I realized, that even if I still find myself being incredibly resilient despite everything, sometimes I feel that I have so much anger contained in me that has been screaming to get out.
I'm strong, but I'm tired.
I'm patient, but I have my limits.
I'm intelligent, but I'm dumb when emotions provoke my actions.
I love myself, but I'm not selfish.
PARKING FULL
Truly, no man is an island. Five people kept me sane: an old friend, a new acquaintance, a former colleague, an online buddy, and an emotional pillow. They give me a reason to smile.
And just like that, everything seems ok.
// posted by LJ @ 9:50 AM 
